I dont know if its jeolousy, maybe a little bit of anger because your wife did not love you enough to change for you. And now that you see the woman she has become and the woman you wanted her to be you feel like you missed out, and i think your probably still in love with her.

But its been four years and she obviously has moved on, so you need to too. Its a sad story, because now she has the life you always wanted for her, the only difference is your not apart of it to share it with her. And by the sounds of it she does not want you to be, otherwise you too would be back together if i wrong then im sorry there just was not alot of information.

Work through your feelings and if you do love her love her enough to be happy for her, and love yourself enough to go out and find the woman you want and deserve. The sad truth is in making these changes for herself she outgrew you, even though thats what you wanted.Hang in there !