Hello Rainbowzz,
I can relate. I had to tell my doctor why I was so uncomfortable, specifically why I refused to disrobe like the nurse said and sit there in that paper gown. It just feels too vulnerable to me, especially knowing the doctor is going to come in and easily be able to remove stuff and see stuff and touch me, which I can't really stand from anyone. It felt actually like a relief to me to say it and reinforce my boundaries. And he seemed pretty understanding, though I probably would have been better off with a female doctor because men abused me and I don't like to be near them. Either way, it was really affirming to myself to assert what I was comfortable with and what I was not. I set my boundaries in other relationships now, so the doctor - patient one should be no different, I believe. Today, I especially hope for you that you are able to find a way to be comfortable and receive care, and that you are able to be patient with yourself and your fears. And your fears are understandable, so I would really encourage you to go slowly and ask for time and patience from your doctor, even if that means the doctor has to go slower or even leave the room for a while if you start to feel uncomfortable. You deserve for any doctor's appointment to be comfortable for you and to meet your emotional needs.
I'll be thinking about you, and I know others here will also. You are not alone.
Be well,
mtd
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