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Thank you for the advice the issue I have is pretty much being okay once you have spoken to someone then the next day been depressed, not wanting to eat and so much more. I feel so alone, lastnight I was alright, me and my girlfriend had a chat with my nan and I knew something was wrong with me mentally but it didn't seem as bad and I ate food. I think one of the key issues is not eating I'm already thin as it is. I rang in sick to work tomorrow because I couldn't take another 12 hour shift it would do me more bad than good, I also told work that BDP could be the issue I have as I feel been honest with them might give me a fighting chance when it comes to not having a good day. If I mention the feelings I have and you read up on them BDP is not such a good match as Major depression, infact I pretty much sum up major depression if you look at the link you gave me them symptoms are what I get... Here is the wierd thing, now I know I'm off work I still can't relax and I feel like they might sack me now... I'm new to the job but they still told me if I feel like I'm going to have a 'Anxious' day then ring in sick so I don't hinder them so to speak. I really don't see a light at the end of the tunnel I don't know what to do with myself when I have to go to work I really love spending time with my mate but when I'm off work now it feels different. I feel so depressed/sad, the mind just wants to hate and not work forward, I'm finding it hard to connect with God... I dunno where I am at this moment in time but I just want the old me back. If I don't feel depressed I feel guilty for things I've done wrong, if I don't feel guilty I feel depressed, if I don't feel guilty or depressed I hate my job. It just goes on and on...