Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328
The problem is that I barely remember that. I don't have any feelings about it anymore. It's as if it happened to someone esle, or it was on some TV show I watched. It did not happen to me.
As to the masturbation topic, I brought that up to her. I have some questions about that. She will talk with me about that, but I am sure that she will also want me to go back and re-visit the stalker thing. I just don't think I will have anything to say about it.
We did talk about the stalker thing last week. She had a 2 hour session with me on that. What more can I say about it? It happened. It's over. I don't remember it.
I also spent 3 hours talking with a friend (church mentor) on Sunday about what my husband did. We cried for hours. I got it all out. I felt like I had purged all that. I can't keep dragging it up over and over and over. There is nothing I can do about what happened.
He has apologized for it. He has listened to me. I have talked with him about the damage he has done to me. I can't talk to him day in and day out about it.
I still have to go on with my life. I don't have time for a nervous breakdown. In fact, right now I don't feel one thing about what happened. I am serious. I barely remember.
What are you guys talking about anyway? That is how I feel.
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In my humble opinion, not feeling anything about it is a defense mechanism we all use when getting abused, emotionally or physically, in order to protect ourselves and survive. It, by no means, does mean that we have faced the problem. When I was a kid and a teenager and both my parents swore at me, slapped me and were emotionally abusive, I didn't feel a thing! Like you said, I felt as if I was watching it on TV or as if someone else was experiencing it. But this marked my whole life -- as perfectly healthy and capable adult who, however, couldn't feel and grasp the feeling of her existence, individuality and capability of emotions. So, sorry that I will have to disagree with you, but I think that you need to start unfolding your emotions and get rid of the "safety blanket" that you have wrapped around you in order to survive the horrible thing that happened to you... Thinking about you
