It is so hard to stop imposing on yourself the things that your family of origen imposed on you. We really internalize those messages. I wanted as a child to have a chance to perform, and to have some recognition, and to be somebody. I wanted to be good at something. But my family just wanted me to stay invisible, and not call attention to myself, and keep depending on them for everything. I internalized the message that I'm supposed to keep being a failure. That's what they expect. Whenever I wanted to try anything they said I would fail. So I did, because deep down I believed them even when I tried out for something or made some effort. I never thought that I had a chance. I still sabotage myself. I just keep on carrying out what they started.

Different ends of the same phenomenon, maybe? Either way, it's so hard to get past it.