Venus, I think it's amazing that you want to do the kind of work you're interested in - the world needs more people like you! I really admire how much you care for others and how freely you give advice and support. There's nothing wrong with ambition; being unwilling to settle for the mundane is part of what makes you such an interesting and vivacious person!

Try and keep your chin up - sounds like a bit of depression, and it's getting to that time of year for most of us. We're all here if you need to vent.