You already do matter Venus as others have said, you already make people think. I cannot see you stuck in a mundane job, because why? Because Venus just wouldn't have it! I really feel that.

Often when I read your posts I wish I could turn back time and do things differently academic wise. But I cannot. Often times I question my purpose, being on disability doesn't give one a sense of a meaningful life. So I have to dig deep. I have to realize how important the job of raising the future generation is. And what can I give them? I look at everything I have been through and for what point? Just to merely suffer? No I think not, I think my purpose might be to help others, through the things I have suffered, it might be small scale and subtle. But this might be my purpose, to be a human that cares, that does not turn my back on thy neighbor, that can help spread the seeds of love and be one of the many hands in the chain of hands that are trying to strengthen the human race for the good of all. Which you are also apart of.

You are already on your way, and I don't see any reason that a woman like you will not have this success. Just look at your successes already, what people here are telling you about how you have helped change them ( and that's without ever meeting them face to face) You have a very special gift and a special presence that should not be discounted to soon.

Hopefully you will get through this emo down mode soon. I'm sure it is clouding your perspective. But I am not to worried about you fulfilling your purpose. You are passionate, and strong, you are determined, and you are gifted. I know you are very worried about finding your purpose,just don't discount your purpose and meaning outside of "career" on your way there.