good for you itsme.  you've made a start. and a willingness to stop was the key for many of us who are in recovery. as for irl meetings-every person at an AA mtg. once had to walk thru that same door. please know that no expectation will placed on your shoulders. you can just go and listen. i know it sounds scary but we all basically have the identical "story". alcohol was destroying our life, our spirit, our soul. it denied us the happiness we deserved. it promised us everything, but in reality took everything away from us.
please keep us posted. we do care about you. we're here for you. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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