i can feel a panic attack coming on i am breathing so fast i feel light headed and my heart is pounding. i haven't cut myself in 3weeks and now i so badly want to do it. i dont even really know why. i have finally got an appointment with a psychologist next week and am nervous about it. i dont want anyone to know because im ashamed of my past and dont want anyone to find out why im going. i'm afraid of the questions she will ask and talking about what i have to talk about. im scared and feel so alone. i dont want to keep feeling like this but i'm not sure im ready for this or able to do it even though i know i need to. i just feel so lost right now.so alone. so totally and utterly alone.