I don't think that you'll act on the thoughts. You know that such actions are wrong, and you are repulsed by them. You cannot be blamed for your thoughts; they're uncontrollable! And no one has ever been harmed simply because someone else thought about harming them. If you were on a diet, would you feel guilty if you thought about eating an entire package of donuts? I'm going to guess that you probably wouldn't. You'd put that thought in the back of your head and take another bite of your salad.

You are not a monster. You are a victim.