Thank you for sharing sarek! Very wise words, and I am always at the point of struggling with myself: should I stay or go? I know that if I personally have the knowledge and tools to cope, things would surely be better for me. My own head and logics and needs is what is tripping me up. I`m a very goal oriented person and I like results but in this relationship I`m finding that I have to reinvent the wheel and scale back as far as my expectations. My bf is very high functioning so I tend to forget that when we add my needs onto expectations that everone else has also placed on him, he may get overwhelmed with everything he has to do. He is a kind, sweet, gentle, soft spoken, smart, descent man and I love that about him and I respect that but I`m kind of a diva with a bunch of issues that I`m trying to deal with myself. So I`m having to learn humility, being humble, quieter, slower and toning down everything. I don`t like having to change and I don`t know if I`ll totally go insane in the process, I pray not. But I`ve been depressed and anxious quite a bit but the new resources I mentioned above are giving me a little hope. i just wish I could get the communication that I want. Now he doesn`t even talk about coming back he use to mention it quiet aften I don`t know if that is something to worry about or what. I don`t know why I put myself through all this. I know I have a choice but I feel like if this or that is different then I would be happy and the relationship would be ok. I`ve taken care of this needs so long I wish just once he would be able to reciprocate but I`m sure he`s not mentally or emotionally able to the extent that I would like him to.