So I posted a few days ago that my referral to a Psychatrist by my GP, has fallen through. The Pdoc said he feels he can not help me. Like WTF???? So now my file is sitting somewhere in the mental health department at the the hospital and I am thinking "ahhhhhh ok if a Pdoc can't help me who can?"

I know that some T's do not like to work with cutters, I have been doing a lot of reading online the last few weeks. That it is a long process blah blah blah.

I feel like I have been pushed into a corner. Last night I cut my forearm several times, 20 minutes later my skin was burning. I'll admit I never do after care when I cut.

I just don't care. I really wear long sleeves because I am usually hot.

Some morning when I am driving to work I think how easy it would be to just veer off the highway. That has been the last week or two.

I am 44 and when does a happy life start? I never thought I would life past the age of 30. It is weird, it was something that crossed my mind up to that age. I didn't know how or anything. Well I made it past 30 and now I don't think I will make it to retirement.

I want the pain and hurt to stop.

LoneWolfie