I am trying to prepare myself to tell my T that I am so afraid of losing him, that I am afraid that I am a total nuisance to him, hopeless and difficult and that this is why he wants to get rid off me. Not that he has said any of those things. But they are in my head and I start freaking out more and more. From last session I came home crying heavily for 2 hours without knowing why. I feel like I'd rather drop dead than telling him all this.
It just all seems so irrational, needy and stupid. And even more... I am afraid he will confirm all of this and tell me to never come again.
I just hope I will be able to get all of this out this time (trying to do that already for 2 sessions). I have asked him for an extra session, so Friday is dooms-day...