Hey,

First off, don't feel bad about yourself for being you. I'm a few years older than you and my battle began at 15. BP wasn't dxed till 18 cause they didn't feel right comfortable dxing that young. It bugs me when people say they know how you feel but I think in this situation, I think I do have some understanding.

I often think what happened to the old me, the one who would just put on a mask and carry on like nothings wrong. With me now, my feelings are on "my sleeve". It doesn't get anywhere in the long wrong.

As for school, maybe college is but isn't an option. I went to a major college and felt more and more discouraged. I switched and went to a vocational school and soared there. Intelligence seems to matter a lot to you as it does to me. School kept my mind busy and making those connections again. You aren't a failure. You make your own future so take hold of the wheel. Sometimes we need to pull over and fix a flat but ultimately we get back on the road.

Balance? Hmm, I still can't stand on one leg. On another note I was manic for a whole two days. Today, boom. I dropped. Medications in turn were raised by the dr. today. The battle is a rough one and it seems like it's trial and error.

If you ever wanna talk just pm me.