Quote:
Originally Posted by Feiticeira
When I was using drugs, I was horrible to my mom. From about 18-23 until I was able to get clean I wasn't able to see my behavior. Though I do feel like I'm very close to my mom now and try to show her the respect she deserves, I can't take back the horrible things I did and said to her when I was high (I was a monster).
Maybe your daughter needs to get through her addictions before she can see how her actions are hurting others. It's very common for a drug addict to blame the world for their problems and deny any self accountability.
You might want to check out al-anon for families and friends of addicts.
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My husband and I paid for a 28 day rehab for her when she was 18 at a very exclusive facility. While there she refused to participate in any family meetings and signed herself out AMA after 21 days. We didn't even know that because she lied about it and HIPA rules are such that we could not get any information from the facility. Then the truth came out and again, her pleading, crying and ultimatims, ie. "if you don't do this, then I'm going to do that". So then it was into another rehab (at another facility) and when she came out she continued making unreasonable demands, such as "I can't live with YOU! I need my own place and I want you to pay for it! (Her roommates at the apt. where she had been living had thrown her out). I called her biological father and said I could not put her out on the street, so he came and took her to live with him. He tried to help her but again she screwed up. She met another manipulative addict at a 12-Step meeting and became pregnant, married him 2 months before the baby was born, and a year later became pregnant again (unplanned). We bought them a washer and dryer because they were "renting" and did not make payments, so the company took the washer/dryer. They have been evicted from 2 apartments (family members, ourselves included, were always paying their rents and utilities but we could not continue). The car that we put a large downpayment on with the understanding that they were able to afford the payments with their income (both were working at the time) insurance, etc. after we went over and established a budget for them was repossessed when only one more payment was due. Then another family member bought them a car, there were mechanical problems, and even though she offered to pay for repair they abandoned the car.
I've been to Al-anon meetings. I can't deal with her anymore. Maybe she'll recover and maybe she won't. Maybe he will recover and maybe he won't. With the track record they've established I would say realistically the odds are not very good. With a clear heart and mind I can say that I, as well as my husband and all the other relatives have done as much as possible. I won't be a part of the games she plays any longer. I care only about the welfare of my granddaughters.