I hope it is okay to post here and ask for your prayers right now. I am facing some really painful and scary things right now and am trying to reach out here. It is hard for me to ask but I am feeling scared right now. It is hard to post about it as I do not really feel safe. I am afraid of another visit and I do not want to be hurt again. With the hardest time of the year for myself and those within just passing and the full moon in the next night, and never knowing for sure I am feeling a panick right now.

I also have court next week on a situation that I just got a temporary restraining order on a man that was being abusive to me and I finally took a stand on what he was doing, and I feel a lot of fear surrounding this. I have never done this before as my fears always stopped me from going to the authorities but I did last Thursday. Another lady in my apartment building, who has also been abused, and I have turned him in. I know that I did the right thing and I will not allow him to make me shut down but still my fears are there. If they do not give a permanent restraining order then he will be allowed to come back into the apartment building.

He worked in the pantry here and also cooked meals for people in the building. They only know his good side as he hides who he really is from them. They do not know how manipulative, lying, domineering, and deceiving he really is. How he kept the other lady and myself apart so we neither one knew what he was doing to the other.

These last few weeks have been really hard and I am exhausted. I know that when I am exhausted it is harder to keep present and not dissociate thus making it more difficult to keep myself safe. I thank you for your thoughts and prayers during this time. It means more than you could ever know.

dps