Oh All- I can so relate to depressed and birthday's- It is so hard to explain to others about it... And then to note that every year since 06 you can recall bad things around or on your birthday... sigh I am starting to wonder more on seasonal bipolar and if that helps. My T mentioned that my bday may have connection else where but we didnt explore that. TOo mcuh going on even after my bday- sadly this year the night of my bday is when things started and it is has been a steady go of Beauflow Plague since....

I try to take holidays good- but idk- holidays can be depressing for me as well with the birthday stuff...

I try to keep occupied if that helps for a suggestion. last year I got through a lot by knitting on a board it took time, i was mindless with thoughts running but making a nice scarf or glove things LOL or Bears

this year IDK though- too much goin on but trying to pick up things, I keep thinking on making cards to occupy me but the motivation this year is lower than last blah

I wish you well and your own break through on it that will help.