I feel ashamed of feeling ashamed. I'm the one who tells my T everything and posts that nothing is TMI for her. That may be true, but it's TMI for ME! I am ashamed of what I emailed her and the words I used. They are disgusting to me. She will say she isn't judging me but I don't know how I can face her now. I just want to hide!!! I know it's an important issue and needs to be discussed--I almost typed disgust instead of discussed. This subject is so, so yukky for me to think about, let alone talk about. I don't know how I can be with my T anymore, and sit there, knowing she knows what I wrote. It's too, too private. I might as well get undressed in front of her!

I can hope that this is another email she won't receive. But I know part of me wants to talk about it with her. I'm debating whether I should call her just to tell her how I feel and to hear her say "It's not TMI. I'm not judging you. Let's just be curious about it." I KNOW 100% that's what she'll say, so why call? I know, from Squiggle's thread and others, that we all talk about embarrassing things, and we get through it. It's so hard, though.