I don't know if any of you remember, but I skipped out on therapy for 3 weeks after a really rocky session. Just before the session started, the receptionist said something that felt really shaming to me. I asked if it would be appropriate to bring up issues with the receptionist to my therapist.

Everyone said yes, and...

I did it! I told my therapist about the problem today. And I told her how I had spent telling whole session before telling her lies. I explained that it was just a bunch of little lies and gave her examples. And I started a little bit bringing up some of the issues I've been having but feel embarrassed to talk about. She gave me homework on one of the issues I brought up and it was nice because the assignment feels relevant for once.

Anyway, near the end, I finally told the whole story of what happened with the receptionist. She was a little shocked (as I had been, too!) but supportive, and she thanked me for my honesty in the session and told me that I did a really good job during the session. That felt good to hear her say that.

I explained to her that I was uncomfortable complaining about things to her because I felt I either needed to not let things get to me or DO SOMETHING about them! She told me she understood but that my standards were too high for myself.

Anyway, I had this awful dream about her last night that was so contrary to what ACTUALLY happened in session today when I was honest. It makes me want to tell her some other things, mostly so that there will be one soul in the world to hear these facts and feelings from me, so that I can finally, actually give a voice to ME. I know I'm not totally changed or anything, but ... this is a new idea to me that I've never really had before.