The mere fact that you want to do something about where you are right now means there is hope. No personal change can ever occur without effort on your part. You must understand that what you want to do will take some work, and it will not be an easy, or quick process.

I experienced a similar phenomenon to yours in my own past, although not quite to the same degree. What worked for me may not be a universal system, and I'm not a certified psychologist or anything, but then again, nobody else has spoken, and what have you got to lose?

It sounds to me as if you're not a psychopathic person, but are simply facing an emotional "deadness" and having some difficulty connecting. This means that it is possible for you to change, and as I said before, if you truly want to, it is possible.

I would be happy to give you extensive advise and discuss these issues with you, if you'll listen to what I have to say. As I said, I'm no expert, but I've lived through this sort of thing and come out intact - better, in fact, than intact, I feel truly alive. And I know you want that.

If you do, all you have to do is PM me. I'll be waiting.