I haven't delivered a letter to my T yet. I haven't even finished what I was working on. I considered today to send a fax to the office requesting a message to be left for my T to call me tomorrow after he gets in, but I decided to wait and see what I could do about a letter some more. I've been contemplating if I should even tell him. I know that I should. I'm sure it would all come out eventually anyways, and since he knows that my eating habits haven't been great lately, and how I've been with meds recently, I imagine that he'd figure it all out sooner rather than later. I am honest with him, for the most part. Well, about general issues at least. I'm honest regarding my eating habits and most everything, but it's harder to divulge info relating to taking caffeine regularly or herbal/nutritional supplements, and then maybe other things like what happened this past weekend. I'm going to have to tell something or other to my child's T, too, because I ended up leaving him a voice mail because of something my exhusband did. I know I sounded stressed and I don't want my kid's T to think it was totally about my ex and PTSD related. My ex was being a jerk about something, so that on top of this past weekend only added to me sounding stressed. I'll have to think up an excuse for when we go in to the appointment. I know he'll mention it and ask how I am doing. I'm sure I'll be vague and secretive. I don't know how I could tell him everything! It will be hard enough trying to get things across to my own T. My kid's T may even ask if I am eating okay because he knows I skip sometimes and have stress--if he does, I'll say, "Don't go there." That should give him a hint as to what's going on. He likes to keep tabs on me and what's happening. As far as how I am doing today, I don't know. I don't care about eating. I've been hungry, just have chosen not to eat much of anything beyond two Kudo's bars that I took along with me to work. Other than that, I've just had liquids like Diet Coke or water. I haven't had much for solid food at all the past few days. Really, it's like I don't care if I lose weight. I keep remembering how great I thought I looked once when I was 110 pounds. I'm about 120 now. It's not like that is such a bad number. My T said maybe two appointments ago that he didn't think I should go under 120 in weight. I imagine if and once he finds out about this past weekend though, he'll very likely put me on the office scale so he's got something to go by in the future. He did that to me once a couple years ago after I sent him a fax admitting that I had lost a significant amount of weight in a short time. That was shortly after I first started seeing him. There was a break for a while when my insurance changed, but I'm back. Anyway, I'm having fewer of the urges like the weekend, so that is good. I still think about it though, and it does come to mind. Well, I have things to do yet tonight. Maybe I'll see some of you online later.

ink