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Old Nov 11, 2011, 11:50 AM
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odoyle odoyle is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 42
Does this have anything to do with the post you made last night where you asked the forum if they would date someone who is unemployed?

If I may give my honest opinion, I think that your best friend said something that triggered a memory of your ex-boyfriend and now you are having second thoughts.

Everyone needs some time to heal after a bad relationship. But there is no set amount of time where you will be "okay" and ready to date again. No matter how long you wait, the next guy you date is inevitably going to do something that will in some way remind you of your ex. Why? Because that's just how we are. After we've been hurt, we put our guard up. And our subconsious is always on the lookout for red flags, to try and keep us from getting hurt again.

What I'm trying to say, is that if you give up on your best friend now, you might be doing it for the wrong reasons. So he mentioned that he doesn't like his job. So what? That doesn't mean he's just like your ex. That doesn't mean he's going to quit, and sponge off of you for the rest of his life.

Try talking to him about it. Be honest. If he's your best friend, he probably already knows what your ex was like. Surely you talked to him and cried on his shoulder a few times. Tell him that what he said made you feel uneasy, and that you will never allow yourself to be trapped in that kind of situation again. Be absolutely clear about what your limits are.