So, I met with her yesterday. We hugged, she started crying. We started talking about why she's not sure about us anymore, and that she thinks i've changed. She also said that she just didnt feel the butterflies anymore, and told me that some C*nt at her work decided to tell her he loved her even though he knew me and Heather (fiance) were struggling. Eventually, after a lot of talking, she started crying, but this time she ended up trying to dig her nails into her hands and tried biting herself. I ended up trying to restrain her for about 20 minutes and ended up sat on top of her, holding her hands in mine telling her it was okay and that I loved her. She calmed down eventually, and we went for a walk. We ended up deciding (I didnt really want to) That I should give her some space for a week or so, this way if it was just the depression then she'd eventually realise and come back.

That was pretty much the end of it, until this morning:

(Via text, minus the kisses)
Her: I can't let go.
Me: Then dont
Her: I dont now what i'm doing
Me: You just need time theres not much that can be done now
Her: I don't know if I want to be with you, be alone a while, or see what happens with Joe. (The douche who flirts with her at work and told her he loved her)
Me: Joe is a Pr*ck. He's trying to drive us apart. & Why wold you end a 17 month relationship just to 'find out' what happens with someone else?
Her: I get butterflies. I don't now :/
Me: So you plan on jumping to the next person every time that happens? It kinda feels like the fact you're thinking about it shows you dont want me as much as you say.
Her: I want this to work. I just dont know if it will.
Me: It wont if you spend half your time wanting to go out with am a malicious c*nt instead of someone you say you want to be with forever.
Her: I need to get it outta my head.
Me: Yeah, you do. You've been caught up in his bullsh*t. He's trying to split us apart. No real friend (She's friends with this idiot) would think of doing that. (Heather previously dated my best friend. During which time, I actually advised them both and tried to keep them together, even though I wanted to be with her. I explained that this is what real friends do, not what he's doing) The fact you want to be with him too even though youlove me as much as you say either means we're dragging something along that's doomed to fail, or it's the depression talking. I think you need to figure out which it is.
Her: Stop having a go at me. I said to try. Please just stop.
Me: I'm not having a go. I'm just saying. I know it's the depression talking. You just need to realise it too.
Her: Things are harder to realise when you're in the middle of it.
Me: I know. But that doesnt mean you wont realise at all. It's only a matter of time. The way I see it, if it's not the depression talking, then 17 months has meant nothing if you're even considering leaving me for him.
Her: Dont talk that way. Of course it means something.
Me: Exactly! Which means it must be the depression putting things in your head
Her: I hope you're right.

So yeah. Now i'm confused as hell as to what to do. Even if she does 'come out of it' and come back to me, I have to live with the fact that she wants to be with some d*ck at work who wants to be with her.


Her step dad is a douche who doesn't care, but I guess I could try mentioning something to her mum. I doubt its the lack of meds putting her into a phase as shes been off them for around 2 months now, and before we were together her moods were worse and more frequent. & I completely agree, I explained to her that making a decision now would only be a mistake she probably couldn't fix. We're better than when I first posted this thread, but it' still not resolved yet. I just hope she doesn't end up kissing him or anything whilst they're at work. I really dont think I could forgive her for that, even though I know it wasn't her fault.