Tonight my boyfriend has set aside time for US... He told me to pick a movie (in theaters) and we would go on a date... We haven't been on a "date" in probably over a year. I'm having a freaking anxiety attack over it! I feel as though he's only doing it because I told him several months ago that I was gonna leave him and find a man that would actually spend time with me. (HE has NO real time for me or our son). And I mentioned a few weeks ago that he had made me a promise that he didn't keep, he of course knew right away what I was refering to.

In a way I don't even want to go. We just don't have fun anymore. Keep in mind this has been an on again, off again relationship of over 10 years. We don't live together and we're not engaged. We leave in 20 minutes... Ahhhhh I'm losin it!