Well, I don't *think* I would ever try to harm myself, but because I grew up knowing about some family members' mental illnesses, I've seen how it changes the way a person reacts to his/her thoughts. Plus, when you really get down to it, the best time to get help is at the first sign of the illness getting worse. I am so not ashamed to ask for help! LOL I guess growing up around mental illness and knowing about it sort of clues you in on recognizing things. But, I'm in nursing school, too, and that helps - we're trained to recognize symptoms as early as possible.

I'm not gonna lie: I used to hear "suicidal thoughts" as a side effect of some drugs on t.v. and think, "What? People control their thoughts, not the other way round!" But I have to admit - until you've experienced INvoluntary thought, you just don't understand it.

Plus, it helps a lot when you have a PCP who really pays attention to what YOU think about your health. I said to him, "I know, I was bad - I stopped the Zoloft myself." And he said, "I would never be mad at a patient for making changes s/he felt were necessary," or something like that.

I do feel a little better today, but I'm not sure it's what I'd call "baseline." I still feel down somewhat, but it's only day 2 of meds. It needs time to hit my system really good and take therapeutic effect.

Thanks for the encouragement everyone!