Quote:
Originally Posted by nicko9000
To be completely honest, I could understand to a certain degree her concerns about our relationship if they came from anyone else, however the fact it's gone from discussing moving in together, children etc, to wanting space in such a short space of time, makes me certain the depression is at least influencing how she feels. Plus if this were to happen when she wasn't depressed, she'd most likely bring up her concerns and we'd try and work them out. It wouldn't go straigh to 'I think we need space.'
It's been made clear having space from one another isn't an excuse to start seeing other people for a short while, although I think it might be a good idea to bring it up again just to confirm it's understood from her point of view. Would it be too much to actually tell her i'd break up with her if anything happened? I don't want to put her under pressure but at the same time I dont want her to think that i'd completely forgive her for doing anything because she wasnt sure what she wanted.
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You obviously want to make this relationship work, Nick, but we really can't
make relationships or people do what
we want them to do. Throw someone who is bipolar into the mix, and the world turns upside-down.
I worry a lot at statements like, "I don't want to put her under pressure but at the same time I dont want her to think that i'd completely forgive her for doing anything because she wasnt sure what she wanted." Bipolar people are to some extent controlled by their cycles. They dont always know what they want; even when they do, they can't always obtain it. Life just isn't that simple. I don't think you get that. I also don't think you understand that you can only be a support for her, and you can be that only by learning her unique cycles and needs.
Going from attitudes like "let's get married" to "we need our space"? Oh, yeah, I've done that in the space of an hour--& meant it. Part of my life. Mine--and those who love me. Maybe tomorrow I'll be better, or maybe I need a med tweak. I can go for six months pretty level, then sometimes every day's bumpy or I spend weeks in the dark pit. Welcome to my world.
kaliope and ohlala have given you some priceless insight into considerations that you need to take to heart for everyone's sake. I hope you will read their posts again, ask about anything that's not clear, and research the subject more.