Thank you for all the replies, i'm so glad a lot of you "get it". You've all describe pretty accurately how it feels.
I'm just so angry with her. Why won't she just tell me she can't deal with me? I want her to say " Asiablue, your level of need is much more than i can give, i can't work with you" Ok i don't want to hear that, it would break me but if she's feeling that i want to stop now before we get any further down the road.

Can we say abandonment issues?