Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep
You obviously want to make this relationship work, Nick, but we really can't make relationships or people do what we want them to do. Throw someone who is bipolar into the mix, and the world turns upside-down.
I worry a lot at statements like, "I don't want to put her under pressure but at the same time I dont want her to think that i'd completely forgive her for doing anything because she wasnt sure what she wanted." Bipolar people are to some extent controlled by their cycles. They dont always know what they want; even when they do, they can't always obtain it. Life just isn't that simple. I don't think you get that. I also don't think you understand that you can only be a support for her, and you can be that only by learning her unique cycles and needs.
Going from attitudes like "let's get married" to "we need our space"? Oh, yeah, I've done that in the space of an hour--& meant it. Part of my life. Mine--and those who love me. Maybe tomorrow I'll be better, or maybe I need a med tweak. I can go for six months pretty level, then sometimes every day's bumpy or I spend weeks in the dark pit. Welcome to my world.
kaliope and ohlala have given you some priceless insight into considerations that you need to take to heart for everyone's sake. I hope you will read their posts again, ask about anything that's not clear, and research the subject more.
|
I wasn't aware those kind of feelings could change so rapidly, so thank you for making that clear. I think I was trying too hard to find a reason why and trying too hard to change how she feels, instead of taking it at face value and helping her through it.
& What you and the other two seem to be saying is I don't understand that it's normal for her to feel how she does right now? Or am I missing something? >.<
Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
It seems to me like you are pressuring her to stay. For example, what does this mean:
"It's been made clear having space from one another isn't an excuse to start seeing other people for a short while"
It's been made clear? Who made what clear? You "made it clear" to her? It sounds like you are trying to dictate how the relationship is going to run. It is not teamwork, a partnership, between the two of you. You aren't acting like her friend, you're acting like her boss. I feel like I am being harsh telling you this, but I appreciate you asking me for an explanation.
|
I guess I worded that incorrectly. There was a mutual understanding between us, i.e it has been made clear so that we both understand this isn't an excuse to sleep around. I didn't make it clear, it was just 'made clear' in general, if that makes sense. It wasn't me telling her what the rules are, so I apologize if it came off that way. We both understood what 'giving her space' meant, however it does feel as though anything were to happen, this understandng wouldn't make a difference.