christina, I am so sorry, it sounds so hard for you right now, and I can relate to being told to ring a crisis line but not actually being ABLE too. I guess that that is where i find this site to be invaluable, if even just to distract myself for 30 mins. Tc of yourself this w/end and use study as an excuse to distract yourself- it'll have a double +ve of extra study and a distraction!?! Just tc ok?