, again i mucked up- i did not fill in all the required fields so lost all that i had written. Who knows- maybe that was a good thing... I'm just so confused. As I got to the end of my 1st attempt at this post, I realised that a lot of my self pity at the mo seems to be coming from the mixed messages ex is sending me. I went round to his place this evening with some DVDs and PJs for no1 daughter as she is staying with him tomorrow night. The first time I ever saw his house the living room was bare boards and the house had hardly any furniture (he is doing the place up). It was cold, uninviting and horrible. Today though, it was beautiful... the living room is painted, all the curtains were up, it was furnished (including the huge framed photo of the 2 girls we had done last year) and a lovely china cabinet. ( ) He told me how much he missed me, and kept wanting to kiss me. I was crying at the time anyway, as I was so... jealous... of how the place looked, and as I do miss him so much. But I just don't know what to think really. Last time I saw him he said that there was no way we would get back together, yet today he was kissing me at the same time as mentioning 'shared custody' and 'we can still be friends'... ( ). What do I do- get on with my life (easier said than done of course) or look at rebuilding the marriage? I kept stopping him from ralking about the relationship today- I couldn't handle it. But I really liked being embraced in his big arms and being hugged so securely. I'd better stop typing before I start a flood here. Does it REALLY get easier to deal with ex's? I can't remember... last time it was rocky for the 1st few weeks than although we lived apart we rebuilt the relationship easily...