my T wants me to work on my negative moods. the moods that hold me back from doing things and trying new things. the ones that make me believe i cannot succeed and that my life is hopeless.

granted, there are a lot of problems that complicate my life. the problems overwhelm me. and, i am lost about what to do about them. i do make efforts but usually settle for stopgap fixes / distractions, e.g., buying myself something.

somehow, the T believes that i can have workable relationships with others even though my parents emotionally abused, neglected and were too strict with me, and i never bonded with them in healthy ways. i avoid all romantic relationships because i was denied nuturing by my parents - i just don't understand them on a very basic level.

and, i was raised by a moody mother and aunt who, unfortunately, am similar to them in that respect. for some strange reason, i always have to feel the time is right to do something. i want to learn to just do things without emotions and moods getting in my way. but, i don't want to be a robot either. i guess i want to be more motivated to have a life. i can't seem to see my way through this especially as i don't like my life circumstances much at all - they are very, very difficult and it seems like i am always fighting myself.

any thoughts or comments?