If admitting it makes it real, then that has got to be a good thing. If you can keep that as 'real' as it gets without SIing then you have overcome such a major hurdle. So many of us in this forum are covered in scars from years of SIing, and will have them for the rest of our lives. Many see them as trophies, as they have come thru certain stages of their lives that were so difficult; unfortunately I am so ashamed of mine. I hide in long sleeves and socks so much of the time, as I have scars all over my body. Every time I have to go to the dr, or hospital, or for blood tests ppl ask for explanations. It is really hard, if the urge is great, to fight SI, but the rewards of not doing it are so great too. We are told not too worry if it does happen, but just to try even harder to overcome the urge next time. There are SO many wonderful, fantastic, supportive forum that can help you through these times of need. I hope they can help and support you as much as they do for me .
((((((((((Songbird))))))))))