You discuss three situations that are entirely out of your control. when you say that you feel like you cant do anything, that is the one accurate statement you make in your post. You cant stop your aunt from dying, but as Burning says, you can be there to support her. You cant stop your sister from being nasty, but you dont have to participate. As for your friend, she made her choice, you can be there for her as well. Or as you chose, you can withdraw to protect yourself from the overwhelming feelings you are having as well. Thats a valid response as well. But you are not pathetic or lazy. You are a human being who has feelings that are being overwhelmed by things that are beyond your control and when you are ready to deal with them, you will.