Nina,
You are having a trying time and I understand the feeling of wanting to just run away for awhile. Motherhood at its most perfect times is still a challenge, at its most trying times it feels like your heart will break and you will never recover from the hurt. When we are wounded it is hard to keep taking steps forward. Yet, we do. You are a survivor or you would not have been able to keep going to this point, don't forget that.

Sometimes the best we can do is to just carve out a few minutes for ourselves until we can get a real breather. Just a few minutes can help us make it through and if that means locking ourselves in the bathroom and having a good cry or closing the door to the bedroom and putting on the headphones while you listen to some music you love that soothes your soul, then claim it for yourself.

Some days, little moments we steal from the day can be all that keeps us sane. Another idea might be to keep a journal and use it to release all the frustration, pain and hurt into. Filling the pages can be a very good release.

I know these are temporary solutions, but maybe they will help while you try to think of other avenues.

All my best,
duckydandy