tree, thank you for posting. I was afraid I scared everyone away.

Maybe it's related to my Mom dying. I was also 34 but she was 68. It wasn't unexpected--she was sick for a few years, but I thought she would be around to get to know her grandchildren and to be there for me for many years. It's crummy that she had to die.

My T has said it's all right to talk about my fear of her dying, but I feel weird about doing it, like talking about it will make it happen though I know that's also irrational. Her specialty is grief and death issues plus she told me it's okay, but I don't know what she can say to make me feel better.

She can't guarantee that she won't die, and that's what I want.

I do mindfulness and I usually don't think like this. I usually worry that she will get sick and cancel the session, but not anything worse. I'm trying to be mindful, but therapy is SO important to me right now. I have something particular to discuss, and I don't want anything to get in the way of doing it.