I'm confused about my therapist's usual desire for me not to plan ahead for what to talk about at sessions. He said I'm good at talking about something when I'm reporting on it. But I'm pretty sure he meant I'm not so good at being comfortable telling him what I'm feeling in the moment. The session before last I think we did better with that.

But at the most recent session, he asked me what I had thought about what we were talking about before. I couldn't think of anything to say. Not that I hadn't thought about it, but I hadn't come up with any coherent things to say. There was no way I could immediately remember the scattered thoughts I had and share them with him. It seemed as if I should have thought about what I wanted to say ahead of time so I could have answered his question. So part of what I'm asking is, do you think it's worthwhile to process your thoughts into something coherent to share before your session?

The other thing t suggested at the last session was communicating in a different way, like drawing or writing. I said I can't draw very well and I said no when he asked if I could write poems. Somehow we talked about me writing in my journal and he said he was interested to read it. I don't understand how reading my journal could be in-the-moment. It seems about as far exactly opposite as you can get. So why does he want to read it? We were talking about being bored and he made a big point of saying he would be interested (not bored) to read it. It seems so contradictory to what he usually wants.