This is a very very tricky situation to be in. From the outside looking in, it's very easy to see how she might be slowly pulling you in through subtle manipulations.

Of course, her intentions may be completely benign, but, like you, I would be very suspicious. Trust your gut here.

Getting rid of a stalker is a really really hard thing to do and when you return the gift - that will be very telling because it might be the first whiff of tangible rejection she gets from you.

If she responds in an over the top manner, then you've got a problem I think.

I think your therapist will likely give you a lot of the same advice that you have received thus far on these boards, and every bit of it is true.

My advice, I guess would be complementary, but a little different.

After you clearly communicate with her to cease and desist (and it may come to the all or nothing like that), you will need to document every single subsequent contact from then on - all calls to voice mail etc...

I also think you need to do some homework and parse out exactly what you are dealing with here.

What do you think she is capable of doing? Does she have a police record? What were her past relationships like? How did they end? What were the circumstances around her previous suicide attempts? Have you mentioned other romantic interests around her? How did she react?

Again, I think the gut in these situations is a very very powerful tool and you've got to protect yourself on all levels (emotionally, physically etc...) from this person.

It's better to be safe than sorry in ellie's world. My friends (and my therapist actually) joke that I should work for FEMA as an adviser because I always jump right to worst case scenario....

However, I'm only paranoid if I'm wrong.