I do worry all the time about my T dying and even make imaginary scenarios in my head about what will happen then! He is 71, has been a therapist for 45 years so I even worry that he must just retire one day and I will be left alone.

I had lost all my grandparents by the age of 12, and also 12 was the age that: we moved and lost all my friends in my old neighborhood, all 4 of my cousins stopped talking to me (We spent almost every day together. I am an only child and the youngest of all 5 cousins so I looked up to them and considered them to be my older siblings. Our parents were fighting about "grown-up things" so their parents told them they were never to talk to me again. I am 29 and haven't met them since. It was devastating and nobody bothered to explain to me why they never talked to me again), I changed school and went to a school I hated (losing all my friends for the previous school), and two of my grandparents died. So I guess I have a HUGE separation anxiety and fear of death issue (the fact that when I was 3 my mother left to work at another town for a whole year only adds to the problem).

I did write all these so that you know that it's totally natural to worry about stuff like that, especially when you have been through something painful in your life. I have also told my T once that I worry that he will die (I'm his first evening appointment and he is sometimes late for 3-5 minutes, so all kinds of thoughts are going inside my head when i wait for him outside his building -- no secretary) and he told me it's totally natural to worry but he's not planning to go anywhere for the next 20 years lol!