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Originally Posted by SoupDragon
Yes this does sound contradictory - but I assume your journal reflects the thoughts and feelings you had at that point in "now" - the time that you wrote them - maybe that makes them relevant in terms of the sort of language you use to communicate your thoughts and feelings, even if that is written to yourself.
I agree with sunrise though - these are your personal things and I would not feel obliged to show them if you felt too uncomfortable with that.
I stuggle in sessions and my T has suggested I bring my puppy with me to the next session - maybe he things she may help me stay in the now and be able to focus on my feelings more.
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thanks SoupDragon. Wow, I'm so jealous you get to bring in your pet!
I hope puppy helps. Animals are so ridiculously wonderful. I'm watching my cat get all excited about some leaves blowing around outside the window now. Anyway, thanks to you and Sunrise for the support in not showing him my journals if I don't want to. I sort of feel like I'm being uncooperative lately, but I'm not sure if there's anything I want to show him.
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Originally Posted by Perna
Think about what you said here. Your last sentence is what your T is trying to get you out of, just more pre-thinking and no feeling.
How did you feel when your T asked you what you thought? You felt scattered, probably surprised, anxious?, maybe even a little angry that he'd ask you a question you weren't prepared for! That is the difference between thought and feeling, between being prepared (an intellectual activity) and being in the moment. You aren't supposed to "remember" thoughts, you check your heart and see what your thoughts are at the moment. If, at first, it just makes you so overwhelmingly anxious that you can't think, you draw a blank because you are surprised, you say that.
My T and I agreed I would stop saying, "I don't know". One does know, it just takes sitting with your heart and looking for what it answers. It's your life and circumstances and what is happening to you. . .now. So, you are literally the only one who does know.
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thanks Perna. That's interesting. I remember my ex-bf saying "I don't know" a lot in therapy, like when t asked how he feels about something. I think it really was unusual to ex-bf to pay attention to his feelings and he didn't have a clue that he could do it. I wish he had kept going like you did so he could have gotten some help with that. Oh well.
You are right about saying that if I was less anxious I could just tell him whatever I was feeling and thinking at the time without planning ahead. I remember going through a few things quickly in my mind that I wasn't comfortable to tell him and then I came out with asking how long therapy will take. I was being Just a little defensive.
bleh. But I still wonder if it can be helpful to think up a way that I could be comfortable sharing some of my ideas ahead of time. Otherwise I end up not sharing them at all. idk. I hope I end up talking to him about some of this stuff... but I guess I shouldn't plan ahead on that
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Originally Posted by Elli-Beth
Bringing my journal in helps so much. I often struggle with words, and it's still "in the moment" because it expresses my true thoughts and feelings far better than I can verbally sometimes. Fear just stops them from coming out of my mouth, but once T know because he's read them, it feels a little safer to talk about them.
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thanks Elli-Beth. I think it could help me that way too.
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Originally Posted by sunrise
When I write in my journal, it is very personal and open, because I know no one but myself will ever read it. I think if a therapist wants to read a person's journal, it may mean they want to know more about your true feelings and thoughts without the barriers you may present to them in session. Personally, I would never share my journal with my therapist, as it is too private. But I am willing to share many personal and private things with my T face to face and in the moment.
Learning1, I think all your questions are great and wonder if you could ask them of your therapist? Because it does sound kind of contradictory, as you pointed out.
I have shared a poem I wrote with my T, and it went well. Poetry is deeply personal to me, so it was hard. I think also that sharing one's dreams with a therapist is another way to get around the self censoring that one may do during a session. Dreams show our unconscious--again, very open, although often times cryptic. When I share a dream in therapy, great sessions often ensue.
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thank you Sunrise. Yes, I think sharing dreams would be like that too. I also think my journal is more personal than what I'll want to share much.
I'd like to ask him if he wants to read my journal, stuff i've processed ahead anyway, couldn't we slow down in session enough so I could process my thoughts while I'm there? He doesn't seem to want to do that. He is a lot more talkative than me, and I think it's good sometimes he helps me communicate in-the-moment more than quieter therapists can do. But sometimes it might help if he slows down.
Sigh. The chance of being able to communicate all that to him coherently in person without planning what to say ahead of time at all probably is not very good. but who knows. He's pretty smart about understanding semi-coherent things.