Hi folks. I have not been around much lately , due to family issues, but that doesnt mean I have forgotten you folks !

I would like your input on my situation. I have a gorgeous 10 month old granddaughter. My son (the father) is in a miserable marriage, the Mom is a "witch", insecure, demanding, abusive (verbally, emotionally and physically), and for whatever reason, each time he leaves her - he goes back . She is now using the baby to prove she is the "boss". I was not allowed to see the baby for 5 weeks (we live 20 miles apart). She informed me that until my son does everything SHE wants, I will not see the baby. Twice we have had to have her removed from our front yard by the police for threatening us - they simply told her to leave.......the baby in the car, and her totally out of control with rage..and it was after midnight both times. When I DO see my granddaughter she is filthy, she has only had 2 sets of her shots, and mother will not give her flouride (Dr. prescribed), nor take her for follow ups after her surgery she had at 2 months of age.

Last week, after a particularly nasy encounter with her via phone, with her cursing me for absolutely no reason, she suggested in a sarcastic way that I "take her to Court" if I want to see my Granddaughter. She then informed me her son's grandmother had tried that and was laughed out of the Courtroom since our State has no "grandparents rights law". I called that grandmother, and she has never taken her to Court (oh - did I mention daughter in law is a habitual liar???). So, I took her up on her suggestion and filed for Visitation Rights. I had to swear to all the facts I outlined (I had detailed notes, dates, times etc. ) and when they finished with my report - the Intake Officer asked me "what is wrong with you, you MUST file for Custody until your son gets his act together and HE files for Custody to protect that baby". (In even filing for Visitation I had to file against my son as well as d-in-l and that was difficult enough - but custody?? ) My son is a GOOD person - but all his life - he has never wanted to "hurt anyones feelings", and I assume that is why he wont permanently separate from his wife.

My 79 yr old Mom lives in a suite on my house, and yesterday d-in-l called me and said she was coming here to "start trouble". I didnt want my Mom to hear her foul mouth - so we had to leave our home to prevent dealing with her.

Of course my FIRST concern is my granddaughters welfare. Could I ask your opinion about the fact the Intake Officer thought I was wrong not to file for Custody and only Visitation? Would you file for Custody ? The above incidents are only a taste of what has been going on, but gives you an idea of situation. I would be happy to share more, if you feel you could give me some advice ! I dont have court date yet for the Visitation Petition - waiting for police to serve me the papers - but I DO have the paperwork for Custody - I just have to file it. I am totally torn apart not knowing what to do !

Thanks for reading, and any input would be appreciated!