years of mental and physical abuse is the reason i don't love most of my family members.hell i don't even like them.i don't feel this way about most people accept my family.they are evil people with no compassion what so ever.most will not help me ever.they say that's what social workers are for.but i thought that's what family is for.but not my family they just don't give a damn about anyone but them.i feel abandoned by them etc.never felt loved by them in my 41 years of life.my mom and others in my family are like i love you but you should be more like your sister and brother,you should lose weight be married by now etc.i stay away from my family as much as i can.because when i'm around them all they do is put me down and then i feel like garbage for days.also am afraid to make mistakes with any relationship i have ever been in.so most of the time i keep my mouth shut and don't tell people how i feel.because i'm afraid people will hate me or hit me etc.i will hold my feelings in for months and years at a time.also when i did express my feelings to my family i got called nasty names and got smacked in the face mouth area by my family.stuff like this has been going on since i was as young as 5 years old.i don't let many people get close to me.i'm scared of dealing with abuse from others etc.