((((PurpleFlyingMonkeys))))

You are not alone and I can relate to how you are feeling. I do not know who I am or if I am at times. Holding onto the truths I have learned over the last few years is at times so hard and as if it slips away somewhere in eternity and I cannot remember.

I feel myself spinning often as if I am slipping away into myself and cannot stop this spinning. Downward into a deep hole somewhere and it has no bottom and it is dark. It feels like I am trying to hold onto something--a child, me perhaps--but they are slipping away from my graps.

Sometimes it feels the connections are all broken, the wires have been cut and they are so close to the edge that there is no way to reconnect them. And if they could be I do not know how to. I never knew they were supposed to connect in the first place. Sometimes it almost feels like the end but of what----me? But who am I?

You are not alone PFM I do hear you and I do get it. I am not sure where this is coming from but it has been coming for a while. My fears and anxiety seem to at times be more than even I can say and to explain it to anyone----I cannot. Time seems to slip away but I am unsure where it goes or where I go.

Then it seems it can lift even for moments and I can grasp just long enough to get a breath before I feel I am slipping away again. This constant feeling of back and forth feels so tiring in and of itself. Trying to hold on is so hard at times as it feels it pulls you away without warning, slamming one back again moments later.

I do hope that you find a t soon. I know that grounding skills work it is hard at times for us anyways to pull them up. It feels everything slips away sometimes even our words. It feels like a fog that we are enveloped in and walking through but no one knows we are there and it is thick, so thick to see even in front of us is not possible.

Just know you are not alone and we are hearing you. I know it is so hard and that it feels no one can understand or see, but we can. This may not have helped any, just wanted you to know you are not alone. Keep reaching out and posting as you can. Know that we care and are listening. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps