Great thread. I have just been diagnosed by my T after one month of seeing her. I started seeing her at the beginning of my break up over 2 months ago. I think I am getting swallowed up by the diagnosis and terrified of it from what I read on forums and websites.

I have always had issues with letting go of relationships and this last relationship I was so terrified she would leave that I sabotaged it within 2 months. A record for me usually I live with the secret pain of abandonment for 6 months and then start self sabotaging. I feel very lost, I keep doing stupid things to get my ex back, which BTW she has blocked me from every part of her life but I still keep trying to "Fix" things.

My therapist says my BPD is not that bad. But this weekend the depression and stressing over my ex has left me feeling really mentally dull, with a massive headache that feels like I have given myself brain damage,has anyone else every felt this?

I am terrified that I will never find anyone who understands me or accepts me in a relationship. I mean who wants to be stuck with it, my last ex was a very supportive girl and I just shat all over her and treated her so bad. I'm also 6 months off Xanax after an addiction due to contracting Graves Disease. So I am not sure if that is making my BPD worse. I read in "Sometimes I act Crazy" that borderlines should never take Xanax.

Gosh sorry rambling on. Just thanks for the post!