I also have many memebers of my family that I would rather not associate with. My mother is the most disfunctional of them all. I tried for many years to forgive her for what she put me and my sisters through while we were growing up. Every time I would let her back into my life things would become incressingly difficult and she would ultimately do something to hurt me or my children. I finally had enough about 3 years ago and decided that even though I would like to have a relationship with her, a violent, cruel, and unloving relationship was not what I was seeking and that is all she has to offer me. I have since not spoken, or seen her in this time. Now my life has less of the drama that she brings and my family is safe, however I still have many issues from our relationship that tends to spill over into other relationships that I have. I am now seeing just how much she has impacted my life and continues to even though she is not around. Even though I do not like my mother as a whole I love her because she is my mom and wish her the best.

My advise would be to keep space between you and those that hurt you. Just because you are not with them doesn't mean that you can't love them from a far. Think about getting some counsoling for the pain that you are carring. You will never forget the words or the physical but allowing it to continue is only going to weaken your spirit even more. To build yourself up be with possitive people that want to be with you. You will find that your past relationships are going to impact your future relationships but perhaps with counsoling you can learn how to let go and adjust to new beginings.

Best of luck to you.