Sabrina,
I am so sorry you are feeling bad. It's hard when you are feeling bad about yourself, but from what I hear you saying, your husband loves and desires you very much. I understand you pushing him away, it is like a defense mechanism of sorts. It frustrates me that you think you are unattractive, because I'll bet you are beautiful,and we often see ourselves differently than others see us.The fact that your husband has told you he does desire you and he does love you is very positive, and the fact that he wants you and is not pushing YOU away should speak volumes...actions speak even louder than words.

I wish I had a magic cure for how you are feeling, but all I can say is if you can do anything to make you feel better about yourself, then that will improve things greatly! You spoke of having age and thyroid issues, but in my opinion, women get more beautiful with age, and the thyroid thing can be a burden, but with proper medication, diet and exercise, weight can be controlled. (I have thyroid issues myself). In any event, I hope that you feel better and give yourself more credit for the wonderful person that you are!

Love,
Sujin