Well, as I was writing the post (the one that I deleted) I started feeling like I was getting something out that I needed to. Then when I went back and read what I wrote, I felt as if I were re-living everything I wrote and in a moment of panic, I deleted it.

I also thought to myself, "How lame I must sound, people have far worse problems than something as trivial as this". Then someone told me that because it may seem minor to others, it doesn't mean it isn't a big deal for me.

The thing is, I struggle with writing about things because sometimes I just want to get things out and move on, and other times I think, now why did I write that? Better to leave some things in the past. If anyone is curious, my post was just mainly a question to anyone as far as if they have associations with certain things when a relationship ends. I wrote that I was in a very intense relationship a while back, and now I cannot go into his neighborhood or re-visit places we have gone to without feeling a sense of dread. I even had (and sometimes still have) a problem with listening to my favorite music because it brings up memories of him (he is a musician and into the same type of music and imagery). I even missed an event that I would normally have gone to because I knew he was performing there. I ended up cancelling dinner plans I made with a mutual friend because I was feeling panicky about having to go out to the area where we were always together. And later on after writing the post and deleting it, I became physically ill while I was out and had to rush home and go to bed. (It could also have been from eating greasy fast food, yuck ).

I don't understand why I still seem to be "haunted" by memories of him, perhaps it's because it was such an intense and different relationship than I've ever experienced before. Now that I am with the love of my life, I wonder why I still have these feelings. It's not like I want to be with him anymore, I feel that I have closed that chapter of my life. I just don't know why I still get the associations. Oh well, they say time heals all wounds, so hopefully this will go away completely, it has subsided a lot more than in the past. I just wondered if anyone else experiences this type of thing after a broken relationship.

Sujin