I promised the man that I would not hurt anyone. He said I should write down my feelings instead and then we could talk about them.
I'm not happy. I wish I was. I used to be happy. My mom called me the happy one. I'm angry and don't want to be angry but I'm scared and confused and all of this is so new. I don't know if anyone is listening, but I don't know what to do. Everyone always attacks me, in one way or another. If I say no, then they say bad things about me and to me. If I say yes, I want to hurt myself and hate myself. But I can't, I promised the man that I wouldn't do that until we talked again.

Good night to whoever is listening.
Snowbird