I'm very sorry you, and all of us, have to deal with being chastised and looked at in a negative way. I just told a "friend" about my PTSD, and didn't even get into the BP part. That person has not contacted me since. I don't like having to explain why I do what I do at times. I have left jobs so I don't have to go into that, and before I do something to get me fired. I've been doing this for years. Now I'm unemployed and trying to talk somebody into hiring me for a less stressful job. I so hope you can find some peace. The people that have responded to you here are caring and understand what you are saying.