yeh my mom goes home in the evening for a few hours with my siblings and then she and my twinbrother come back. Normally they can't stay but my fave nurse said rules are to be broken sometimes. I don't talk much im just so tired. Maybe i can go home wednesday or so though but ill have to stop throwing up so much first and no more fever it comes and goes. i really look forward to go home on the other hand im nervous. What if the memories overwhelm me. What if she decides its to much trouble anyway. why do i doubt her i dont know. Nightmares every night i dreamabout my dad hurting me. his hands around my troath and then i wake up but it still feels like his hands are there. so many questions duringthe day everyone seems to just HAVE to ask something. Need to know something. stick one more needle in me. one more test. a few more questions. Another checkup. school but i stare at the pages but see nothing. i just see him all the time