I think what I was aiming for when I asked what would you say to someone in a similar experience was more that it seems to me that you are very harsh towards yourself, and was wondering if you saw yourself from the outside, would you be gentler.

I remember talking to someone who was training a new person, and she realized that she was so patient with them, and would not say the harsh things she often told her self, to them.

After that realization, when she caught herself thinking harsh thoughts about herself, she'd think about what she'd say to someone else if they made the same mistakes, and realized there was no way she'd ever treat someone else that way, so instead she tried reacting to her mistakes as she would react to the mistakes of others, and found that being gentler to herself made her feel stronger and more confident over time.